tell me why i shouldn't get upset.(again)

you were so keen on the idea. you got excited. me too.
well then you weigh things, and i knew you have something better in mind.
true enough, yes.
stop being so ignorant, ignorant of other people's feelings, and also, EFFORT.
puhlease, do not start crawling back to me and you-know-who when you start realising we got angry, and then try to salvage the situation.
its not gonna help because this is what you always do and it ain't gonna work now because we've seen enough. well, i've seen enough.
to think i've, or we, have put up with this for so long.
its never true that we ain't good to you, ain't true to you.
infact we were. we treated you so much like a true friend.
perharps, your definition of true friend is a person that doesnt tell her besties secrets. secrets that might have been kept 3 months ago?
the conversations you gave left us with no choice but to say: nothing,nothing, we're fine.
what?!? its never true. even an idiot can sense," im not okay"
i was indeed flaming yesterday that i left no reply to your sarcarstic reply.
and then clever you called, and i said the very same thing over again.
clever uh? trying to save yourself now, from lonely afternoons back home.
from the start, i've never felt it would be lonely to just cross a road. what beats taking 2 buses alone to a place whereby you have to still walk alil bit. bear in mind, taman jurong is not a place whereby alot of westwoodians live.
even if its walking you to the back, the furthest i can. i always do. i always did.
i hate to post this. seems like im backstabbing. but look again, it seems like its your own problem now. never started from us. now i can understand why she got so angry that day. i have her to confide to. she has me to confide to. well, without us, you still have. you have someone that listens to you all the time, gives in to you all the time, and gets led by you all the time. He/She did this just to stay close to you, just to want you happy. we did so too. we always wanted to stay close, very close, closest friends we wanted to be. so we've always been trying. we gave in whenever you go unhappy.
i thought we were really great friends. but then again seems like,our place in your heart seems to be temporary and can be moved around anytime by you. you play us around and you don't realise it. or perharps you thought we wouldn't mind because we are your friends. well, when we do the same thing back to you, who pulls a dark long face and in turn, we've got to give in again.
i want the old old us back. the time where we were so closed, so good.
i don't know how to face you anymore. because i don't wanna act and pretend.
but then again. from this, i understand how much i mean to you.
perharps for"her", it might weigh alil more. because she can go further than me. not just until the traffic lights.
im sorry dear, i don't wanna be a bitch inside me infront of you.
but i'll always want to forgive you.
because i miss the old us. the very very old one.