the saddest thing on earth is still loving someone who used to love you.

i still remember the time when we first knew. at yogurt place. how i thought you were cute and how i've never imagined that i'll end up with you. i never regret falling so deeply with you because you were my everything. you were all i have. you made me feel so safe, so lucky, and so happy. those were the best times of my life. and then after we got together, i was a total bastard because i always neglected you because of my friends.you cherished me so much at that time and all i feel was being so loved and safe. i didnt know how much you mean to me at that point of time. i didnt know you soon will become my life. i treated you like myself. indeed, i treated you better than myself. i just wanted to always know that you're fine and happy. you were all on my mind and i was crazy over you. i loved the way you talk to me till dawn, love the way you bring me to eat all the nicest food. i love you so much. and then we had a problem soon later. i swear to myself to wait for you and never give up. because i never wanted to lose you to her. in the end, lucky me got your love back. and then everything was smooth till something happen again. there were so many ups and downs in our relationship but i never wanted to give up because i love you. i dunno how much tears i shed for you because i dont care. all i ever cared about was you, and only you. and now, at this point of time. how devastated i am. i cant think, i cant eat and sleep. because i need you here with me. i know you dont like me to cry. so i wont cry in front of you. i cant forget you because everything i have is all bout you. my bag, wallet, slippers, ezlink, and even all the stationary in my pencil case. my life is all about you. how can i lose you. i'm lost and i cant do anything because im afriad you dont love me anymore. its useless when you lost your feelings for me because i'll never get your heart back. everytime i see our photos, i'll cry. we were so happy then.

but

i feel so empty now. so scared. scared of almost everything.

i really really need you. i need a warm hug from you, telling me everything is fine.

i miss you really really muchh ben.